Death

In my mission (the West Indies), a lot of couples either have qualms about getting married, or have to get divorced from a previous spouse first, and thus have a lot of trouble getting baptized.  Two families in particular that I grew to love had a real struggle dealing with these issues. Maybe it's weird to blog about this, because it involves death, but I feel like I should get it down on paper (eh, type).   

 First there was Brother Traore in St. Vincent.  He had a testimony of the church, and loved it with all his heart, but he refused to marry his wife of 8 years, unless God showed him a sign.  Well, my last couple weeks in St. Vincent, his health was really deteriorating, and he was having severe breathing problems and heart problems, causing him to be in and out of the hospital every day getting hooked up to machines. 

Elder Bishop and I visited him one day and he was sleeping, so we decided to leave a pass along card with a note on it.  I set it next to his bed with the note facing out, but Elder Bishop said "no, let's flip it over so when he wakes up he sees the Temple."  So we left, and in the meantime Bro. Traore in his dream was pleading and asking "where are all my friends?  Why have they forsaken me?"  He then says he saw a bright light, and when he woke up, it was a picture of the Temple, right in front of him on the nightstand.  He got his answer and he knew he needed to change his life.  

Well, turns out you can't marry someone without a birth certificate (he's from Sierra Leone and doesn't have one), unless you have connections.  The only preacher who would do it for him would only do it on the condition that Bro. Traore got baptized into his church, not ours.  So I left St. Vincent to go to St. Lucia, and Bro. Traore and the branch were all working together to make the marriage happen.  But, his condition steadily declined and he died - no baptism.  

Fastforward a year later to Point Fortin, Trinidad.  We met a really nice old couple, the Dyer family.  At first we didn't think much of them (we weren't sure if they understood what we were sharing), but they read the pamphlet together.  They came to church every week.  Brother Dyer drove us around to visit his children and share the gospel with them.  Their problem?  Brother Dyer needed a divorce from his wife of 30 years ago so he can marry his current wife.  The Dyers grew to become one of my very favorite families of my entire mission.  Brother Dyer was extremely old and fragile (84 years old), but he was as active as he could be.  If he was too sick for church he would insist on at least driving Sister Dyer there.  

I remember distinctly when we first talked about baptism with them, the look of pain in Brother Dyer's eyes when we found out that they weren't actually married and explained to him that he couldn't get baptized yet.  Divorces in Trinidad take an extremely long time, and there was no telling when they could get married.  My last day in the mission I was a little bummed about not having had any baptisms in Point Fortin, but our visit with them changed my perspective.  They cooked Shrimp Creole for us (Sister Dyer is an amazing cook!) and Brother Dyer told us his usual stories of his days at sea (he had been a boat captain his whole life and always mesmerized us with his heroic tales).  And then, at the end, Brother Dyer spontaneously bore his testimony.  "The sea", he said, "belongs to no man, it belongs to Christ.  For years I've stayed away from churches because they are man's, but now I know that this church belongs to no man, it belongs to Christ.  I can feel it in me."  And that was the last I heard from them.  

Now it is four months later, and still no divorce or baptism.  They have been working hard trying to get the divorce to go through, but with no luck.  Last week, Brother Dyer was hit by a drunk driver.  Yesterday, he passed away.

At first these things really bummed me out.  Why do the people I teach who really want the gospel have to die?  Well, I've come to terms with it, and I think it is probably for the better.  Both Brother Traore and Brother Dyer, I'm sure, will receive the gospel in the next life, probably much quicker than they could have here.  I know for certain that Sister Dyer (who's sister has since been baptized) is going to get baptized as soon as possible, and that she is going to work on his paperwork for the temple.  

Although these incendents appear tragic, I think somehow, they are for the best.  I know Heavenly Father loves us.  He has a plan for all of us.  He has established His church today to strengthen us and bring us to him.  I am grateful for the gospel in my life.  I am grateful for the association I was able to have with these two wonderful gentlemen, and for the lessons they taught me.

  

               Traore Family

                          Dyer Family